Thursday, September 18, 2008

#79

I don't know why but I am irrationally angry right now. But its a funny anger because I'm laughing at everything and being a pessimistic. And its so weird. Gah! Gah! Gah! 

Anyway I was feeling all angry and reading my blogs avoiding homework when I checked in with cjanerun. I've been reading her blog daily for about the last 3 weeks. Her sister and brother-in-law were in a plane crash and are now recovering in an Arizona hospital. So she now has taken in 3 of their 4 children along with her own like 4 month old baby until the parents can come home and take care of their children. So ya...they have way more to be mad about than me, right? And then I read today's blog and it made me happy. It made me so happy. It reminded me why I believe in God. I've tried for like the last 10 minutes to summarize the entry but I can't so I'm just copying and pasting:
"For five years I wanted a baby. I wanted a baby so bad that sometimes I would steal you when your mom wasn't watching! You were like my own baby. But then you moved to New Jersey and I couldn't see you as much. That is when I really, really wanted a baby of my own."

The Chief squawked and punched his arms. Claire held him tighter.

"I never knew why Heavenly Father didn't send us a baby until a year ago, when I found out that I was pregnant. I just knew that there was a reason we didn't have The Chief when we wanted. But now I think I know why."

"Why?" Claire's interest was obvious in her eyes.

"Because He was saving The Chief for you. He wanted The Chief to be here when you were here with me. You make The Chief smile and he needs to smile. Smiling makes him grow."

Claire liked this idea, and grinned at the thought.

And someday I will tell The Chief the same thing.

"He was saving you for Claire. He wanted you to be here when Claire came along. You make Claire smile and she needs to smile. Smiling helped her make it through. You helped her make it through."


At least to me, that all makes perfect sense and I feel a lot less mad and frustrated and I wanted to share. So yeah...

Also, I got another cupcake today. It was the Copacabana. It was good but not as good as the Cherry Pop!

1 comments:

Toi said...

omg. I spent all weekend reading c jane. I will never complain ever again. And I feel bad saying this, but it's such a compelling story. I check for updates every hour.